Why did you write this book?

This book is an occasional contest. But with hindsight, I needed, after being "gentrified", normalized and above all to have become a woman, to remember where I came from. To claim my origins and my past as a chance. I did not want to make this book a "peoplerie" but rather a novel, a literary object.

You say that your mother is often traveling or with her lovers. Have you suffered from this absence?

I think I had to suffer, but I had a huge absorption capacity. Sometimes people tell me that my childhood is like that of Cosette. I had a very happy childhood because there was love and confidence. I had a very fusional relationship with my mother. Everyone had a role to play as a couple. She was the child and I, the mother. I say it in my book "I will not be the one who makes the nonsense, but the one who repairs them" .      

She was for sharing drugs

She is drugged but you hate that you qualify your mother as junkie because "she deserves better than that". How would you define your mother?

A free woman who has lost a little in her freedom. She was drunk with independence. Drugs like shit, grass, or opium were a spiritual quest for her. She was for sharing drugs. She was looking for what was beautiful and what was not.

You do not really know your father, you've seen him very few times. Have you had trouble building yourself without it?

My mother introduced me to my father in this way: "He was the chief operator of Philippe Garrel. He was beautiful, super gifted and made very beautiful films. That's all I knew about him. And also that they conceived me under drug. So during my childhood, I had a great story to build on. It was at my 15 years that I felt a lack. My mother called and said, "Your daughter needs to see you . " And she sent me to find him.

Teenager, you were afraid of the eyes of others because you had pulpy forms. What allowed you to assume yourself?

After seeing the movie "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! " , Of Russ Meyer with these three super sexy women. I said to myself, I also have shapes and I can use them. And suddenly I started wearing motorcycle boots, tight-fitting t-shirts, mini-dresses. But that did not mean I was going out with boys. It was just my way of saying "I fuck you" .

When did you feel that you had a more peaceful relationship with your mother?

After her liver transplant she suffered because of the drug. One evening she invited me to dinner with my boyfriend at the time. We were discussing and suddenly I felt his hand slide down my back. I had the impression that she looked at me at last as a young adult. The better it went, the more our relations subsided. This parenthesis was very short.

why my mother left when this one is naze?

You are 22 when your mother dies. At the end of your book you say "hate all other mothers". Why ?

I could not mourn. I found all other mothers null and dull. I said to myself, "Why did my mother leave when this one is naze? " . But this is no longer the case today. I want to reassure my mother-in-law.

What are your future plans?

Bruno Chiche's "One in the Other" starring Louise Bourgoin, Stéphane De Groodt and Pef. I also filmed "Waiting for the Swallows" , a Franco-Algerian film by Karim Moussaoui that will be presented at festivals. And why not a next book? I loved writing. So I'm not saying no.

"In My Heaven and My Land", Editions Fayard, 18 €.