Breast cancer: how to preserve desire?

Published on 04/24/2024 05:02

How to feel like wanting when the fear of dying locks the belly, how to feel desirable when her femininity is mutilated? In the face of breast cancer, intimate relationships are often abused. The advice of specialists to find the desire.

41% of women believe that their sexual life is the collateral victim of treatment ⁽¹⁾ . Of the 71% who have sex on a regular basis, 58% report having a bloodless libido and 51% have difficulty reaching orgasm .

"Sexuality is an integral part of quality of life, it should not be taboo, nor is there a price to pay during treatment, you have to talk to your oncologist," says Dr. Lau- Vanlemmens ⁽²⁾ , onco-senologist at the Oscar-Lambret Center, Lille.

Complicity with his spouse

" Women especially need to be reassured ," says the specialist, to hear that the alteration of desire is directly related to treatment, and therefore normal. To hear also their man say: "Do not worry, for me it's ok, we'll take the time."

Moreover, many couples get stronger during the illness. Complicity, tenderness and love do a lot for the desire, on the condition of daring to talk to each other, to express what we feel, to avoid unspoken settlements, because everyone wants to protect the other. "

Rediscover your body

Equally crucial is "staying in touch with your body. Touch, again and again! says Dr. Marie Veluire, a gynecologist and sexologist. After a lumpectomy - which affects 72% of women - touch your breast.

It is necessary to reclaim this part of the wounded self so that it continues to exist physically, whereas one tends to place it beside oneself. Which also means accepting that the other touches us ... "

Again, we must allow ourselves time to heal, in his head as in his body, to accept the changes, to regain confidence . Some, who have lost a breast, will need to be rebuilt to reveal themselves.

"We can also reinvent our sexuality with other modes of operation that the sexual act," says Dr. Vanlemmens. Caresses, massages, sensuality ... "

After the treatments

Then to erase as much as possible the sequelae suffered by the vaginal mucosa, such as disabling dryness, gynecological pulsed vaginal laser sessions can regenerate the wall and restore hydration, flexibility and tone.

To take another step towards harmony found again. In the name of pleasure ... of life.

1. Institut Curie studies, 2008 and 2010. 2. Co-author of the Kalicou study, Impact of breast cancer on the quality of life of young women, spouses and couples, 2008.